Mush! Avante! Onwards! Upwards! GO!

18/03/09 - 12km - 20 mins.

I decided yesterday, after running through the bus station to get my bus that I have the cardio vascular system of a mushroom. But we will remedy this. There is a lot we are fixing. Regardless of what anyone else thinks because apparently we're not 'trying'. Because miracles happen surely I can flick a switch and it all vanishes. I don't care what you think. Say what you want be malicious add insult to injury I don't care. I don't care. I don't need you, I don't need anybody but myself because we get on quite well thank you. Me and Hyde have great conversations about you, we both think your a maniac and need to sort this head thing out.
I'm feeling righteous. And today I'm really fighting. Its been a day of up and down already. Angry, frustration and tears. But we're a unit, we've got the reigns and we're going to be fine how ever long it takes. Because we're a fighter. Not a survivor. Survivors lie on the floor weeping, mourning loss and grieving people they've lost and loose someone you need to have them in the first place. Fighters rise above it all, they keep there dukes up and bob and weave until that killer punch comes and the enemy is left on the floor bleeding. If you want peace, prepare for war. Justice. Always out numbered never out gunned. I can take a razor to my skin quite happily and not give a damn because I'm bleeding out all that crap that's swimming in myself. A mate said to me yesterday: I've known cutters but I've never seen anything as bad as that. Its not bad, its art. Twisted morbid art of no real worth.
A part of myself has vanished. I'm not lost, just wandering. Someday I will write about all of this but currently, I have no words. No real words, nothing of substance I could be cryptic, but that's only because I lack the ability to deal with anything. So I'll just say this and move on:
It was fun. Goodbye.
Motion. This is what we need. Motion. Pushing forward now. I've had enough of standing still and waiting.

Possibly one of the greatest songs on the planet:

Well I don't want to see you waiting
I've already gone too far away
I still can't keep the day from ending
No more messed up reasons for me to stay

Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all again
Woah again

Months went by with us pretending
When did our light turn from green to red
I took a chance and left you standing
Lost the will to do this once again

Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time again
Woah again

See you waiting
Lonesome, lonely
See you waiting
I see you waiting

Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting...

Wasting my time by Default