Hyde

Okay so here I am again. And what do I have to say? I'm not really sure, think I know what the problem was, maybe? If I go on like I am I really know what the problem is. No I'm not going to elaborate because this is still theory.
So I'm here. And I slept relatively well and I'm starved. But my head is quiet. Like I've just had the best drug. Just relaxed, nothing to worry about, calm. I have a new favourite song. Hometown Glory by Adele. I was going to write last night, I walked through the door and decided to write 17,000 words before the first of april and mail it to the USA is a little far fetched even for me. But its okay because its a quarterly competition so I can always enter it on the first of july.
I really am getting back into the habit of posting here too. Because I need an outlet, and any writing is good writing. I could plan my life away but words never hitting the paper is becoming regular practise. Urgh.
I've made the concious decision to sort this out. And this kind of decision is binding. Its a contract I've mentally signed the penilty of not sorting it is death. Naturally. If we all have alter egos, the good and the bad, surely its possible to make them co exist. I do believe I've got a Jeckyll and Hyde complex. Dr. Jeckyll is calm serene and sane. But theres a trigger, I'm not really sure what it is, I've got a hunch but we'll see, and the minute someone touches the trigger Mr. Hyde is out to play and my brain runs at overspeed thrashing all rational thought into tiny bits. Its completely involentary. Its like there's this gremlin living in my head that enjoys jumping on the nerve that triggers Hyde. Who knows. I'll figure it out.