another day... in this life.

I'm am horrifically tired. I spent most of the night awake, picturing my eventual self destruction and could do nothing but picture it.
I cut my arms up elbow to wrist and then take it too far and cut across whatever vein and my mother finds me. Problem with empathising with the main character too much is, you know someone will always find away to save you. Self indulgent. Self absorbed. I have visions of me walking into the pub bandaged up. Refusing drink and getting copped by a few friends who are horrified. And then getting sent away into a supposed 'safe' place. Sectioned. For lack of a better word.
My brain is throbbing. So tired. Just one more day and then I can fall apart. Just one more day. I just need to make it through today and I can be as much as a shambles as I want. Two weeks off and I need to have a very scary conversation with my dad about making a doctors appointment.
I'm afraid, there's nothing more to say.